Unspoken etiquette for software professionals

pallavi
6 min readJul 24, 2021

Each employer issues an Employee Handbook which talks about the Code of Conduct. This might help to gain an abstract vision of the professional standards and behavior expected from you. Most of us focus on where we want to be after X years, technologies, compensation goals.
So, developing soft skills takes a backseat.

I compiled the list of etiquettes based on the experiences and learnings from situations that I have encountered at various workplaces during my tenure. Unequivocally, this is not the ultimate list. Everyone will go through different experiences. You need to build your own set of etiquettes that makes you a better professional at work.

Productive Meetings

  1. Agenda
    Specify brief agenda in the meeting invite. It sets the tone for the entire meeting.
  2. Prepare and participate
    If you are an attendee, spend at least 15–20 minutes preparing for the meeting. If you are the host, make sure you have all the points written somewhere or on slides. I have seen few meetings with awkward silence and one-sided meetings.
  3. Be respectful
    Value the time of the meeting host. Avoid peeking into your laptop, mobile phone.
  4. Avoid interrupting
    Practice listening and wait for the host to finish.
  5. Avoid talking over each other or crosstalk
    You might be in a situation where two or more people are talking at the same time. Be civil and let the other person speak first. There no brownie points for those who speak first. Be assertive.
  6. Minutes of meeting
    If you are the host of the meeting, send MoM and clearly define the action items.
  7. Cancel/Decline ahead of time
    You may be the crucial person needed for the meeting. Avoid declining it until the last minute.
  8. Respond, Respond
    When you receive an invite, please respond with accept/decline or maybe.
  9. Articulate
    Know your audience and accordingly articulate the presentation or discussion.
  10. Conference/Online meetings
    Mute yourself if you are not talking or presenting to avoid disturbing others. Keep your video on during online meetings.
  11. Be on Time
    Tardiness is rude. Be punctual. If you are running late for a meeting, send a note to the attendees.

Email Etiquette

  1. Concise
    Keep your emails brief and relevant to the subject.
  2. Grammar check
    There are various browser plugins out there for checking grammar, spelling. I use Grammarly.
  3. Respond
    Don’t keep your colleague waiting on items that need your attention or inputs. If it is time-sensitive, respond immediately. Try to reply within a day or two of receiving the email.
  4. Intended recipients
    We have email overload today. Too much email is a reality. Send emails only to required recipients. Avoid spamming.
  5. Read before sending
    Quite a few emails mention, “Please find the attached document”. But there is no document attached [Now Gmail has the validation for this]. It is a good practice to read it thoroughly before sending it across.
  6. Autoresponder
    If you are out of the office, set up an auto-reply in your email client.
  7. Handle email overload
    If you are using Gmail, try creating filters, rules, labels, folders for various categories. It is productive to create buckets like “Training”, “Client Communication”, “HR Communication” etc.

Interview Etiquette

  1. Introductions
    Practice your introduction. An experienced individual can skip all the education details and focus on career learnings.
    A fresher can mention all the relevant details about the technology, projects, education. I would not include family details in my technical interview.
  2. Use the STAR method
    Provide thoughtful answers in an interview.
  3. Prepare for the interviews
    If you are a candidate, reschedule the interview if you think you are not ready. If you are taking an interview, be prepared with the interview format and questions.
  4. Avoid negativity
    Avoid complaining about your previous employer or work. It might reflect poorly on you.
  5. In-person interviews
    Arrive at the venue before time. You never know if the traffic hits you, not able to find the building, security check-ins at the office.
  6. Online interviews
    I cannot stress enough this, Switch on your video. No one prefers to stare at the screen and talk into the void. Both candidate and interviewer should switch on the video. It captures non-verbal cues.
  7. Keep your phone off
    There is a lot of time and effort that goes into the interview process. Be respectful and switch off your phone. Phone calls disturb the flow of an interview.
  8. Rephrase not Repeat
    This applies to both interviewer and candidate. Rephrasing it and explaining it differently rather than just repeating, is much more effective.
  9. Ask for feedback
    At the end of an interview, the candidate can ask for interview feedback. It might not be practice in all organizations to provide feedback, but it can help a candidate.
  10. Avoid grilling/hostile interviews
    When interviewing a candidate, don’t be judgemental. Keep the process professional.
  11. Ask question
    This applies to candidates applying for a position. Asking questions might imply your interest in the position and the organization.

Team Lunch/Dinner Etiquette

  1. Inform your host ahead of time
    If you won’t be able to make it for the meal. Let the host or team know. Don’t just assume.
  2. Hygiene
    Never double-dip. Avoid sharing a spoon, fork or glass Wash your hand before and after the meal.
  3. Know the culture
    If you are dining with people from different cultures
  4. Manners
    Avoid burping, picking, or blowing your nose. It is simply disgusting.
    Don’t talk with your mouth full.
    Avoid overeating, may it be Al-carte or all-you-can-eat restaurants. It can cause discomfort.
  5. Interact with Team
    If you are an introvert, make an effort to engage your team. You can do so by thinking about few topics beforehand. Eg. sports, music, weekend, food.
  6. Kind of dining
    Do your homework. The host was gracious and taught me the basics when I was struggling to use chopsticks at a business lunch. 😄
    If you have never been to a fine dining restaurant before in your life, spend some time at the restaurant website and probably check out some etiquette tips to avoid fumbling.
    Eg. in an Indian setting, eating with the left hand might seem offensive/rude to other people.
  7. Eat something little before your meal
    Don’t show up hungry at a restaurant. There might be a travel time involved for you to reach the restaurant, it might take some time for you to be seated or getting your order served.
  8. Don’t order the most expensive item
    It might be seen as rude to order an expensive item on the menu
  9. Thank your host
    Show your gratitude towards the host for the invite and meal.

General Workplace etiquette

  1. Mind your own business
    Stay away from nasty politics at the workplace. Save your time and embarrassment. Avoid participating in spreading rumors or eavesdropping on your colleague. It is unprofessional.
  2. Be mindful of your pitch and tone
    It is unprofessional to lash out or vent at people. Stay calm. Walk away from your workstation for few minutes might help. Discussions might get heated up during some situations but be cordial to all.
  3. Appreciate
    Thank your colleague for any help that they have offered.
  4. Avoid butchering the names
    Be sincere and ask if you are not sure how to pronounce them. Avoid using nicknames.
  5. Confidentiality
    Do not share confidential documents on the internet. If you are not aware of it, please talk to your manager or seniors.
  6. Too much complaining
    Avoid whining about it. Express your concern professionally. Bonus points if you suggest the solution to the problem.
  7. Too personal
    It can get awkward if you over-share your personal life. Use it for small talks. But try not to overshare.
  8. Hygiene
    Clean your fingernails, wash and comb your hair. Wear clean and ironed outfits. Maintain dental hygiene.
    Make sure you smell good. You might not realize it, but others will. Invest in deodorant and perfume (not too strong for the workplace).

You need to have your tailored version of the etiquettes list that helps you to create an impression and make your presence felt in your workplace.

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pallavi

Engineering Manager| Developer | Baking enthusiast